Mama Musings

As a new mum, one of the tips I have been told time and time again is: Sleep when the baby sleeps. It’s a cute sentiment, but I call bullshit. Some babies don’t nap. Like mine. For me, it’s more like: Guzzle another cup of instant coffee and wash your face with a baby wipe,… More Mama Musings

Postpartum Perfection

I have never felt more powerful than in the hours after giving birth. Powerful and empowered and proud. Incredibly proud. Of my new baby, yes of course. But also of my body, which I came to realise was so unspeakably perfectly and purposefully designed. Immediately post-partum, my body was flawless. To me, anyway. The delivery… More Postpartum Perfection

At 35 weeks

I am 35 weeks pregnant and I am huge. I repeat: HUGE. Imagine if you had a basketball stuck up your top that sticks out and looks fake. That is the shape and size of my abdomen. A few people have told me my stomach is “pronounced” and “prominent” – which is weird – but actually describes it… More At 35 weeks

When You Break

It hurts me to see you hurting. My heart is your heart. It aches deeply for you. So urgently (so helplessly) I want to free you from this. Remove, delete this new burden you now have to bear each day and forever. But I can’t and I can’t and I am so powerless. There is nothing to do… More When You Break

Blood

Until his death, my grandfather donated blood as frequently as he could – every 12 weeks, I think. He knew all the nurses at the Red Cross Donation Centre. He loved the free milkshake reward. Most of all, he loved giving of himself.  An intimate and generous act in a clinical setting. I wonder how many… More Blood

At Nineteen Weeks

What does it feel like to be pregnant? Shock, at first. Disbelief. “But doctor, are you sure.” “Yes dear” she will say “this is what happens when you have sex.” “But are you sure?” “Yes dear.” You acknowledge that sometimes a soul decides when it will be created — and actually, that is beautiful and perfect.… More At Nineteen Weeks

Ellipsism

Do you ever freak yourself out thinking about how this world ends? I want so desperately to know that it makes my stomach burn and I feel panicky. I limit the time I allow myself to think about it. It seems so unfair that we won’t ever know how our story ends. We live a single… More Ellipsism