Zombie Survival Plan

On one of our very first dates my (now) fiancé very gravely asked me:

What’s your zombie plan?

Sorry, what?

Your zombie plan? What would you do in an outbreak?

He then proceeded to explain, rapidly and in great detail, where and how he would source weapons, tinned supplies and fuel, before heading out to sea on a boat.

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zombie plan

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“That is, of course, based on the standard zombie variety which cannot survive in water,” he added.

I found it quite amusing at the time. Endearing even. Hey, I thought, this guy is really thinking about the future.

But recently I’ve realised just how lucky I am to have a man with a plan….

We’ve started watching The Walking Dead.

And while I never thought an American TV series about the end of the human race would be my thing, the truth is, I am hooked.

So much so, that at the end of every episode I punch the air and let out a huge sigh of relief – WE MADE IT!

The series, however, has brought to my attention that I am severely lacking in survival skills.

I don’t know how to hunt or make a fire from scratch. I can’t repair an engine or use a gun.

But hey guys, don’t leave me behind! I can write funny poems and I’ve got a kick-ass backhand! Oh, and you should check out the stuff on my Pinterest account…

It’s been four years since that incredibly romantic zombie date and I’ve decided it’s time to come up with a plan.

First of all, I’ve made my family promise to shoot me if I got infected. They agreed with a sigh and for that I am thankful.

Second of all, I’m planning on buying a couple of cans of baked beans. I keep forgetting.

Third of all, stick with the group.

That’s the plan so far. I’m still working on it.

Since Australia is surrounded by water, I am hoping we all stay unaffected and uninfected for long enough to find a cure. Ah the lucky country.

If the zombies can cross water, we’re all screwed.

Astrophysicist Martin Rees says “the main threats to sustained human existence now come from people, not from nature”.

Gosh I hope he’s wrong.

I’m counting on a giant asteroid doing the trick. Much more respectable than a fast-spreading pandemic. Or nuclear annihilation. Or, god forbid, a computer attack.

Well, I’m off to Girl Guides now.

And because I don’t want to end on such a morbid note, here is a picture on my Pinterest account:

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owl

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Heheeeeeee – just look at him! Couldn’t care less about the impending apocalypse.

 

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