Poem: A girl named Elva

I know a girl named Elva

Who is really very clever.


But despite all her smarts,

She can’t hold in her farts.


She just cannot refrain,

Letting fluffy off the chain,


Now Elva may be small,

But her stench can make you fall.


Once when it was after dark,

She went and arse burped in the park.


People yelled and wailed and cried,

And one cute puppy nearly died!



Yelled a woman from the bench.


All of this made Elva sad,

To think her butt wind was so bad.


But when she went to the doctor,

He just laughed and cruelly mocked her.


Then he handed her a plug,

And a green drink in a mug.


Put this up your rear he said,

As soon as you get out of bed.


And swig from this here lovely brew,

After you go to the loo.


Now Elva was no silly fool,

She knew the doctor was a tool.


She didn’t like the tone he used,

Or the fact he was amused.


That very night she hatched a plan,

To get back at that silly man.


She let one rip into a bottle,

Then drove to his house, full throttle.


She threw the bottle from her car,

Through a door he’d left ajar.


The bottle smashed against a wall,

Her stench released into the hall.


It made its way into his room,

Like a poisonous perfume.


The doctor choked in his bed.

Elva’s fart had left him dead.


Elva cheered and drove away,

And lived to fart another day.


picture credit: themrsmanyhats.blogspot.com.au


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